Update: Dr. Jonathan Gamze License Sanctions & Lawsuits Keep Piling Up

May 13, 2023

Gamze’s State of Illinois License Sanctions/Discplinary Court Orders (four so far) keep piling up, along with refusals to comply with Probation conditions, fines, and several lawsuits filed against him, including by parents on behalf of their children who he overprescribed/misprescribed to. It is reported that Gamze’s insurance company settled a lawsuit with a family whose child he overprescribed to.

Michael Volpe investigated, and had this to say: “In the course of this litigation, the Department of Financial and Professional Regulation noted that the findings were tame compared to what the Department could have done. This is a shocking admission. This suggests that Dr. Gamze was overprescribing medication on a mass scale.” Dr. Jonathan Gamze has been treated with kid gloves by his licensing board, Michael Volpe

There’s also Gamze’s failed lawsuit against his own lawyers, Cassidy Schade and John Seibel, Cook County Chicago Case # 2017L007185, where he whined that they didn’t get him a lenient enough sentence (he complained about $3 Million dollars in lost wages dispensing more drugs) when in reality there had been ELEVEN other criminal complaints that could have been filed against him during that same case, per the Illinois Appellate Court and the Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation (IL medical licensing board). Illinois Appellate Case: https://ilcourtsaudio.blob.core.windows.net/antilles-resources/resources/16200eea-0351-408c-8a37-c2a3a011178b/Gamze%20v.%20Seibel,%202022%20IL%20App%20(1st)%20211368-U.pdf

Why isn’t Gamze concerned with making restitution to his victims or the great burden to we the Illinois taxpayers (already burdened with some of the highest taxes in the country) for these repeated investigations? But corruption like this is exactly why our taxes are so high and people are leaving Illinois in droves. Sounds like he got off pretty easy to me. What about the Hippocratic Oath, “Do No Harm”? Wow. Talk about Entitlement. 

Prior article where several others wrote in to report on their own personal nightmares with Gamze: Dr. Jonathan Gamze Misconduct

DANIEL P. FISHER, Psychologist, GAMZE’S go-to Cook County Family Court Litigation Therapy Racket crony also has his own license sanctions. Hardly surprising.   https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2017/02/25/dr-daniel-fishers-misconduct-with-michael-volpe/

• Gamze 2021_Redacted
• Gamze 2020_Redacted
• Gamze 2017_Redacted
• Dr.GamzeStateOfIllinoisProbationLicenseRevokeOrder

UPDATE TO OUR CORRUPT COOK COUNTY FAMILY LAW CASE:  Corrupt Child Representative NATALIE KOGA, JUDGE ALFRED LEVINSON & lawyer ELLIOTT HEIDELBERGER all abruptly, simultaneously gave up their lucrative lawyer & judge posts to avoid investigation. MEG JACKSON, who KOGA was caught conspiring with, changed her name to “MARY ELIZABETH” & moved her law practice to Lake County, Illinois.  KOGA found a County Social Worker/Guardian job in Arizona.  Inexplicably, KOGA still lists herself as an attorney in Chicago, though she is NO LONGER licensed.  “Sex For Custody” lawyer DAVID PISULKA, who controlled the lucrative secret list of Guardian ad Litems & Child Reps, has finally been arrested and stripped of his law license, after years of the IL ARDC ignoring grievances filed. 

Dr. Jonathan Gamze, Specializes in Psychiatry, Arlington Heights, IL – SEVERAL Sanctions, including:  Misprescribing or Overprescribing Drugs (12/14/2020)  Due to a lawsuit arising out of prescribing Lamictal in improperly increasing dosage increments to a pediatric patient.

• Action Taken: Revocation, Surrender, Suspension of Controlled Substance License
• Summary: Gamze, Jonathan C MD: License # 036078450: NATURE OF COMPLAINT: The physician failed to properly prescribe medications to a patient of his practice. ACTION TAKEN: The Illinois Department of Financial and Professional Regulation placed the physician’s license on indefinite PROBATION for a minimum of three years and the physician’s controlled substance license on indefinite SUSPENSION:
• IL Department of Financial and Professional Regulation License Look UP

LAWSUITS FILED AGAINST GAMZE IN COOK COUNTY: 

Cook County Online Case Search:  http://casesearch.cookcountyclerkofcourt.org/CivilCaseSearchAPI.aspx

Results as of 5/12/2023 12:17:57 PM — 

	CASE NUMBER	PLAINTIFFVSDEFENDANT
	2010L063010	SHEILA MANNIX -vs- MITCHELL ASHER,EILEEN BREWER,JONATHAN GAMZE,STEVEN RISSMAN,DANEIL SHEETZ, Sr.,DAVID WESSEL
	1993L002051	ANN CAPCIK -vs- JONATHAN GAMEZ,JONATHAN GAMZE,GEOFFREY LEVY,LEVY GEOF & ASSOC,COM NORTHWEST,DAVID ZESMER
	2014L013441	ALEXANDRA FASTUCA,KAREN LEES -vs- JONATHAN GAMZE, MD,JONATHAN GAMZE, MD
	2014L013441	ALEXANDRA FASTUCA,KAREN LEES -vs- JONATHAN GAMZE, MD,JONATHAN GAMZE, MD
	1994L006190	SHEENA HOFFMANN-vs-FOREST HEALTH SYSTEM,FOREST HOSPITAL,UNKNOWN DOCTORS,JONATHAN GAMZE

OTHER VICTIMS OF GAMZE PLEASE COME FORWARD!

Is it time for another Operation Greylord? Megan Fox, Author and Investigative Journalist Michael Volpe address the role of the Feds in widespread Family Court Corruption

https://www.facebook.com/watch/live/?ref=search&v=436369324129107

Sunlight, the best disinfectant. Brandeis and the history of Transparency: A Case For Cameras In The Courtroom

Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman. From Other People’s Money, Chapter V, by Louis Brandeis

“Brandeis made his famous statement that “sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants” in a 1913 Harper’s Weekly article, entitled “What Publicity Can Do.” But it was an image that had been in his mind for decades. Twenty years earlier, in a letter to his fiance, Brandeis had expressed an interest in writing a “a sort of companion piece” to his influential article on “The Right to Privacy,” but this time he would focus on “The Duty of Publicity.” He had been thinking, he wrote, “about the wickedness of people shielding wrongdoers & passing them off (or at least allowing them to pass themselves off) as honest men.” He then proposed a remedy: If the broad light of day could be let in upon men’s actions, it would purify them as the sun disinfects.” Sunlight Foundation Intern, Andrew Berger. The Sunlight Foundation is a national, nonpartisan nonprofit organization that advocates for open government. https://sunlightfoundation.com/2009/05/26/brandeis-and-the-history-of-transparency/

We certainly could use some sunlight, transparency and disinfectant in our nation’s court system! So much of our court corruption could be addressed if there were uniform laws requiring cameras in the courtrooms, allowing litigants to use videotaped transcripts. This would eliminate the extortion of litigants by forcing them to spend tens of thousands of dollars on stenographers. Allowing litigants the use of independent video would eliminate the common practice of corrupt courts altering transcripts. We need cameras! We need sunlight and disinfectant in our courts!

Street view of county courthouse in Rolling Meadows used by many Northwest suburban residents.

IL Mom Sues Judge, Ex & GAL For $8M-The Complaints

Here is a copy of Ms. Hadzi-Tanovic’s Federal Complaint against ex-husband Slabodan Pavlovich, Associate Judge Robert W. Johnson, and former powerful attorney David Pasulka, who acted as the Guardian ad Litem on the Case. Pasulka also formerly headed a secret list of lawyers chosen for the highly lucrative appointments as GAL’s & Child Reps in Cook County Chicago. Recently, the IL ARDC finally acted to disbar Pasulka, after many years of ignored complaints. True to the pattern of bad judges and lawyers protecting one another through the IL ARDC, Judicial Inquiry Board, and the head judge offices, they only acted after significant publicity. Sadly, bad judges and lawyers continue causing serious harm to children and families on a routine basis, only facing consequences once the negative publicity finally becomes too great to ignore. In this case, the IL ARDC finally acted against Pasulka only after attorney Lawrence Thompson’s open letter calling for the resignations of Cook County’s head judges Tim Evans and Grace Dickler, for allowing Paulka to remain in power, was aired on CBS Channel 2 News. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2021/03/23/attorney-claims-top-chicago-judges-enabled-embattled-lawyer-david-pasulka-to-have-unchecked-power-in-selecting-family-lawyers/

“Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic, leader of the local Illinois Women’s Coalition, has filed an $8 million federal lawsuit against Family Court judge Robert Wade Johnson, the GAL, and her ex for conspiring to deprive her under the color of law of her right to due process and equal protection, as well as for the intentional torts “abuse of process” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress”.

Aneta’s custody nightmare mirrors women’s cases all over the country and world in which Family Court judges disregard substantial negative evidence about the father, and fabricate negative evidence about the mother, in order to justify switching custody to the father.”  Mom Sues Judge, GAL and Ex For $8M In U.S. Federal Court

LAWSUIT COUNTS
1. Conspiracy to deprive of due process [42 U.S.C. §1983]
2. Conspiracy to deprive of equal protection under the law [42 U.S.C. §1983]
3. Abuse of process [intentional tort]
4. Intentional infliction of emotional distress [intentional tort]

Fed Cmplt FILED, Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic & Minor Children SP, KP, MPDownload

FC Ehibits A-F, FILEDDownload

Abusive Power And Control

The following is an excerpt of an excellent resource on Abusive Power And Control behaviors from Wikipeda. Please see the link at the bottom of this excerpt for the complete article. It does a great job of showing many of the power and control tactics used by abusive, controlling, and manipulative people in one short article. It is also helpful in that it lists what most would consider as “positive behaviors”, i.e. doing “nice things” for someone. Most articles on abuse, power and control, and coercive control focus on the overtly negative behaviors, but leave out these positive behaviors that are also used to coerce and control others.

However, it does omit Suicidality. Many abusive, controlling and manipulative people also use threats of suicide as a means of coercive control, emotional abuse and blackmail. These suicidal threats can be overt, or more subtle references to suicide, with a manipulative, controlling intent.

“Abusive power and control (also controlling behavior and coercive control) is commonly used by an abusive person to gain and maintain power and control over another person in order to subject that victim to psychological, physical, sexual, or financial abuse. The motivations of the abuser are varied and can include devaluation, envy, personal gain, personal gratification, psychological projection, or just for the sake of the enjoyment of exercising power and control.^[1]

Controlling abusers use tactics to exert power and control over their victims. The tactics themselves are psychologically and sometimes physically abusive. Control may be exerted through economic abuse, limiting the victim, as they may not have the means to resist or leave the abuse.^[2] The goal of the abuser is to control, intimidate, and influence the victim to feel they do not have an equal voice in the relationship.^[3]

Manipulators and abusers often control their victims with a range of tactics, including, but not limited to, positive reinforcement (such as praise, superficial charm, flattery, ingratiation, love bombing, smiling, gifts, attention), negative reinforcement (taking away aversive tasks or items), intermittent or partial reinforcement, psychological punishment (such as nagging, silent treatment, swearing, threats, intimidation, emotional blackmail, guilt trips, inattention) and traumatic tactics (such as verbal abuse or explosive anger).^[4]

The vulnerabilities of the victim are exploited with those who are particularly vulnerable being most often selected as targets.^[4][5][6] Traumatic bonding (also popularly known as Stockholm syndrome) can occur between the abuser and victim as the result of ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change and a climate of fear.^[7] An attempt may be made to normalise, legitimise, rationalise, deny, or minimise the abusive behaviour, or blame the victim for it.^[8][9][10]

Isolation, gaslighting, mind games, lying, disinformation, propaganda, destabilisation, brainwashing, and divide and rule are other strategies that are often used. The victim may be plied with alcohol or drugs or deprived of sleep to help disorientate them.^[11][12] Based on statistical evidence, certain personality disorders correlate with abusive tendencies of individuals with those specific personality disorders when also compiled with abusive childhoods themselves. ^[13]

The seriousness of coercive control in modern Western societies has been increasingly realised with changes to the law in several countries so it is a definable criminal offence. In conjunction with this there have been increased attempts by the legal establishment to understand the characteristics and effects of coercive control in legal terminology. For example, on January 1, 2019, Ireland enacted the Domestic Violence Act 2018, which allowed for the practice of coercive control to be identifiable based upon its effects on the victim. And on this basis defining it as: ‘any evidence of deterioration in the physical, psychological, or emotional welfare of the applicant or a dependent person which is caused directly by fear of the behaviour of the respondent’.^[14] On a similar basis of attempting to understand and stop the widespread practice of coercive control, in 2019, the UK government made teaching about what coercive control was a mandatory part of the education syllabus on relationships.^[15] While coercive control is often considered in the context of an existing intimate relationship, when it is used to elicit a sexual encounter it is legally considered as being a constituent part of sexual abuse or rape. When it is used to begin and maintain a longer term intimate relationship it is considered to be a constituent element of sexual slavery.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abusive_power_and_control

Attorney Claims Top (Chicago) Judges Enabled Embattled Lawyer David Pasulka To Have Unchecked Power In Selecting Family Lawyers

#nataliekoga #exposethecorruption

“We will never know the number of children and parents and spouses who have been impacted by this,” Thompson said.”

Attorney Claims Top Judges Enabled Embattled Lawyer David Pasulka To Have Unchecked Power In Selecting Family Lawyers

By Charlie De MarAugust 4, 2020 at 10:51 pm

CHICAGO (CBS) — A Chicago area attorney on Tuesday was calling for the resignation of Cook County’s chief judge and the presiding judge of the Domestic Relations division, for allowing what he calls unchecked power in how attorneys are selected by the courts in messy divorce cases.

As CBS 2’s Charlie De Mar reported, the committee that selects those attorneys has been chaired by David Pasulka, who is now facing allegations of sexual assault.

Pasulka has hand-picked and curated a list of family attorneys. If you’re on the list, you’re eligible to be tapped by a judge to represent children caught in the middle of divorce cases – and it pays well to get on the list.

“The list can harm children,” said attorney Lawrence Thompson.

Pasulka was selected more than 20 years ago by a judge to hold this powerful role of gatekeeper.

In a 2016 picture posted to Facebook, Pasulka posed with the current presiding Cook County Judge for the Domestic Relations Division, the Honorable Grace Dickler.

“We will never know the number of children and parents and spouses who have been impacted by this,” Thompson said.

Thompson wrote a letter to Judge Dickler and Cook County Chief Judge Tim Evans, raising concerns about the list, who is on it, and the power Pasulka has held for decades.

“There’s a crystal clear conflict of interest,” Thompson said. “It created an incentive for those attorneys to favor Pasulka in the divorce litigation.”

In the letter, Thompson says Pasulka had the ability to blackball opposing attorneys from the list – or remove a lawyer already on it – so it benefitted Pasulka’s competition to toe the line, potentially putting profits over the interests of the child

“Pasulka, if the allegations are accurate, was doing some horrible things for a long time,” Thompson said.

In a complaint filed with the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission, Pasulka is facing allegations of sexual assault and exchanging a favorable custody recommendation in divorce case in exchange for sex.

Most recently, Pasulka was charged with driving drunk in a Glenview McDonald’s parking lot.

“I tried doing something good for the system a long time ago,” Thompson said. “I failed.”

Thompson took Pasulka to court unsuccessfully some 15 years ago raising similar concerns about Pasulka and the conflict of the screening committee.

“I want the system to change,” Thompson said.

In the letter sent on Tuesday, Thompson wrote: “The administration selected a bully-pervert, and put him in charge of regulating which of his associates would be the high-income in-crowd in the Cook County domestic relations courts.”

Thompson is calling for chief Judge Evans and Judge Dickler’s resignations, accusing them of enabling Pasulka through the unchecked power given to him

“I would hope that they would have an investment in cleaning up the system now,” Thompson said.

Thompson does acknowledge and does not shy away from the fact that his is personal for him. When Thompson went through a divorce, Pasulka represented his ex-wife in a divorce case.

Pasulka has been suspended from serving as guardian ad litem in Cook County; Judge Dickler, who presides over domestic relations cases, prevented him from doing so when she found out about the complaint, according to a spokesperson for Office of the Chief Judge of Cook County.

Dickler also suspended Pasulka from “any other Court Committee to which he has been appointed” in the domestic relations division due to the “serious allegations” in the complaint, the spokesperson said.MORE NEWS:Celebrate Patrick Kane 1,000 Games With The Blackhawks

Also, a spokesperson for Chief Judge’s office declined to comment, citing Supreme Court rules on the letter submitted by Thompson because of the open ARDC case against Pasulka. https://chicago.cbslocal.com/2020/08/04/attorney-claims-top-judges-enabled-embattled-lawyer-david-pasulka-to-have-unchecked-power-in-selecting-family-lawyers/

Fraud On The Court-No Statute of Limitations

In Part one of this continuing series “Fraud on the Court”, we discussed the definition of Fraud on the Court, how it vitiates or sets aside all orders from a court tainted by fraud on the court, and included many case law examples. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2020/09/06/fraud-on-the-court-pt-1-definitions-and-case-law/

Today we begin the first part of understanding the statute of limitations for Fraud on the Court: QUITE SIMPLY, THERE IS NO STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR FRAUD ON THE COURT.

“Exceptions[edit] (To Statutes of Limitations)

U.S. jurisdictions recognize exceptions to statutes of limitation that may allow for the prosecution of a crime or civil lawsuit even after the statute of limitations would otherwise have expired. Some states stop the clock for a suspect who is not residing within the state or is purposely hiding. Kentucky, North Carolina, and South Carolina have no statutes of limitation for felonies, while Wyoming includes misdemeanors as well. However, the right to speedy trial may derail any prosecution after many years have passed.^[50]

Fraud upon the court[edit]

When an officer of the court is found to have fraudulently presented facts to impair the court’s impartial performance of its legal task, the act (known as fraud upon the court) is not subject to a statute of limitation.^[51][52] This mainly covers a “fraud where the court or a member is corrupted or influenced or influence is attempted or where the judge has not performed his judicial function — thus where the impartial functions of the court have been directly corrupted.”^[53] In this regard, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit has stated the following:

In order to meet the necessarily demanding standard for proof of fraud upon the court we conclude that there must be: (1) an intentional fraud; (2) by an officer of the court; (3) which is directed at the court itself; and (4) in fact deceives the court.^[52]

Officer of the court in general includes any judge, law clerk, court clerk, lawyer, investigator, probation officer, referee, legal guardian, parenting-time expeditor, mediator, evaluator, administrator, special appointee, and/or anyone else whose influence is part of the judicial mechanism.^[54]“

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statute_of_limitations#Fraud_upon_the_court

Love Endures Forever

Love conquers everything.  It is the powerful force within that sees us through, no matter what.  It is eternal.  It is the purest essence that we hold safe deep in our hearts.  It can’t be destroyed.  It can’t be altered.  Love withstands all tests, all trials.  It endures forever.  We stand strong, resilient, nourished and sustained by love.  We trust our hearts, and look to love, as we embrace the beauty of our dreams for a bright, beautiful future. – Lisa Nadig

“The past is the past and has nothing to do with you.  It has nothing to do with right now.  Do not let anything from your past inhibit you in this present moment.  Start over.  Start fresh.  Each day.  Each hour, if it serves you.  Heck, each minute.  Just get going. – Neal Donald Wolsch

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” —  Lucille Ball

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”— Maya Angelou

“Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey.” — Lord Byron

“Love is the brightest star in life’s darkest skies.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

“Love has never been conquered, not even by the greatest army.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

“Never underestimate the infinite love within you
It has the power to transform lives”
― Mimi Novic , The Silence Between the Sighs

“There is no one more powerful, Than the one who trusts their own heart.”― Mimi Novic, Brilliance of Dawn

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” — James Baldwin

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” — Morrie Schwartz

“Don’t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don’t have forever.” — Leo Buscaglia

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
— Marcus Aurelius

Domestic Violence by Proxy from One Mom’s Battle

“When a Cluster B personality disordered individual enters the family court system they wage war upon the healthy parent. They may have been absent parents never attending school, medical or dental appointments but suddenly they attend everything, preening as the doting father or mother and may push for custody. Custody is seen as a prize. The goal is to hurt the healthy primary parent and save money via child support calculations. As part of that push they groom children to see their healthy parent as untrustworthy and self-centered (projection), with divorce or separation their fault while portraying the Cluster B parent as wounded and needing the children to shower him or her with love and affection. Children often respond to this gaslighting by siding with the abusive parent.

Once the abuser has control of the children they are able to continue stalking, harassing and abusing the former partner even when the abuser has no direct access. DV can manifest in ways such as threats to the children if they display a close relationship with the former partner, destroying the children’s favorite possessions given by the former partner and emotional abuse. Children are often coached to make false allegations about the parent.

DV by proxy is very deliberate and planned. The abusers know what they are doing and chose their controlling, coercive, and illegal behaviors. The behaviors are usually surrounded by threats and fears and often include “battery, destruction of property, locking children in rooms to prevent them from calling parents, falsifying documents, along with other similar overt behaviors.” As the leadership council suggests, “Calling this behavior “parental alienation” is not strong enough to convey the criminal pattern of terroristic behaviors employed by batterers.”

The main goal of the abuser is s/he will end up with complete control over the children and will use this power over his former partner, “who tried to escape the power and control of the once abusive marriage.” They do not care if the children are harmed as long as their former partner is hurt and they feel they have won.”

COMPLETE ARTICLE:  Domestic Violence by Proxy

Coming out of the FOG: Why do we stay in relationships that hurt? Taking back our personal power when we feel stuck.

FOG =Fear, Obligation & Guilt.  FOG is hard to see through, hard to walk through, and easy to get lost in.  But you don’t have to.

It can be hard to understand how to break free from the FOG created by harmful relationships or unhealthy relationship dynamics.  It can be equally hard to understand why we at times feel so stuck.  There can be times when we know it’s not healthy,  we can see the harmful behaviors, know we are being lied to or manipulated, but feel powerless to chart a healthier course for ourselves.  Not all scars are visible.  Sometimes the most painful wounds can be well hidden, even from ourselves.  But we can overcome them.  We can take back our power when we learn how.  When we learn what is holding us back, we can overcome it all.  Our relationships don’t have to hurt.

But to do so, first we need to understand Coercive Control,  Gaslighting, Traumatic Bonding and Stockholm Syndrome.  Fancy terms that all boil down to the invisible psychological bonds that keep us enslaved in relationships that we know are hurting us.  Traumatic Bonding is very powerful; it is intermittent positive reinforcement that we cling to, in the hopes that the bad will never happen again.  Once we understand these concepts, then we understand how manipulative people exert their subtle and unseen control over us, and even others around us.

Coercive Control Collective  “Coercive and controlling abuse impacts a survivor’s sense of safety, identity, autonomy and their attachments to others. Without understanding this dynamic and its full impact, victims who have survived this particular type of trauma continue to be isolated by the complexity of their experience and their needs for recovery are misunderstood and unmet.”

11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting   “Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. ”

The Place of Stockholm Syndrome in Narcissistic Victim Syndrome “Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological term used to describe the paradoxical phenomenon of the relationship that develops between a captor and its hostage. In such a relationship, to the amazement of onlookers, the hostage expresses empathy and positive feelings towards their abusive captor, and often they will display a desire to defend them.”

5 Signs You’re In A Dangerous Trauma Bond With A Toxic Person   “A trauma bond is a bond that forms due to intense, emotional experiences, usually with a toxic person. Similar to Stockholm Syndrome, it holds us emotionally captive to a manipulator who keeps us “hostage” – whether that be through physical or emotional abuse.  According to Dr. Patrick Carnes, these types of destructive attachments are known as “betrayal bonds” and can take place in any context where a relationship can be forged. They can occur in romantic relationships, friendships, within the family, and the workplace.”

10 Steps to Recovering From a Traumatic Bond  “Trauma bonds occur in very toxic relationships, and tend to be strengthened by inconsistent positive reinforcement—or at least the hope of something better to come. Trauma bonds occur in extreme situations such as abusive relationships, hostage situations, and incestuous relationships, but also in any ongoing attached relationship in which there is a great deal of pain interspersed with times of calm (or maybe just less pain). I liken it to a heroin addiction—the relationship promises much, gives fleeting feelings of utopia, and then it sucks away your very soul.”

Boundaries and self-care are important, healthy and necessary. It’s not selfish to love and value yourself!

Resources