Monthly Archives: July 2015

Stories of hope: Reuniting children after alienation

Karen Woodall

Following one of my reader’s requests for case studies of work that I have done with children who have reunited with a parent after alienation, this is a short collection of stories from my case book. Publishing case stories is not straight forward when one is working with families affected by alienation, as their privacy is vital and I am bound by confidentiality in both my work in the court process and my role as a therapist. Following good practice therefore, I must heavily disguise the identity of the families and their children with whom I have worked. I cannot identify anything within the case stories that could lead to anyone recognising themselves or others and I cannot give details of any cases within the court process that could lead to the same. What I can do is occasionally publish stories which are written by parents themselves and I can…

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Ever Wondered What Corruption Really Looks Like?

(Letter from my former counsel to the Child Representative, confronting the collusion with opposing counsel, corruption, refusal to protect from child abuse, sabotage of medical care and inappropriate conduct with our child.)

August 23, 2013

Dear (Child Rep):

Although I have just recently become involved in this case, I am concerned with some of your actions which I have witnessed and of which I have become aware.

First, at the last court appearance, my friend was sitting on a bench outside the courtroom and overheard you speaking to (Father’s) attorney.  You obviously did not know he was my friend.  You and (Opposing Counsel) were actively engaged in joining forces against my client and making comments about getting (Dr. G, Father’s Hired Gun Psychologist)  involved to ‘help out’ the problem; the problem being (Mother’s) desire to be a mother to her child.  Your disparagement of me personally was also noted which is unprofessional and petty.

Despite the 604(b) evaluator’s two reports finding that (Father) is an alienator and that (Mother) should have sole custody, you have ignored these facts and blindly advocated that (minor child) spend as little time as possible with his mother.  At trial, you vigorously fought Dr. F’s recommendations.  Bizarrely, in court you advocated that (minor child) be put into “after school” care rather than be allowed to have the option to walk the four blocks to spend time with his mother.  Even after Judge L. ordered that (Minor Child) attend (High School), and (Father)  attempted to sabotage his enrollment, you did not advocate for actions necessary for him to attend school there.  On August 22, (minor child) refused to leave the (public library) to come home with his Mother and said “Stay away from me.  You are not allowed to be with me.  I have spoken with my attorney.”  If you did, in fact, advise (Minor Child) of that, you have violated all ethical duties as a child representative and attorney.  Why haven’t you been involved in resolving this problem and encouraging your client that it is better to spend three hours after school at his mother’s house than sitting in a public library?

My client advises me of the following additional facts:

You have encouraged (Minor Child) to call you whenever he disagrees with what his mother says or when he does not get his way and then you refuse to communicate with (Mother) despite the fact that she is the legal custodian.  By doing this, you are encouraging disrespect of parental boundaries and assisting in the alienation that has already been established by Dr. F.  (Mother) has repeatedly asked for a more orderly means of communication but you have refused to respond.

Dr. H. noted that you crossed professional boundaries at (Hospital) interfering with (Minor Child’s) psychiatric care.  In August, 2011, you engaged in wildly inappropriate physical contact with (Minor Child) by forcing him to hug you.

Since September, 2010, you have refused to communicate with (Mother), who has historically been the primary caretaker and the sole legal custodian.  The vast majority of conferences and telephone calls with (minor child) have occurred only when he was with (Father).

At (Mother’s) request, you interviewed Dr. N. WA, and Dr. Rodney A. who told you that they had concerns that (father) was physically abusing (Minor Child) and coaching him to make false abuse allegations against (Mother).  Those doctors have reported that your refused to listen to their concerns.

You have been disrespectful and rude to (Mother) in the presence of (Minor child) and have attempted to interfere with (Minor Child’s) medical treatment by telling him, “Your mom shouldn’t take you for these assessments.”  You told (Minor Child)  “I’ll yell at your mom and make her a better mom to you.”

You failed to communicate with therapist S. S. for 11 months even though Ms. S. attempted to contact you repeatedly.  Rather than speaking to Ms. S., you filed a Rule To Show Cause against (Mother).

I have not seen you once make a negative comment about (Father) despite findings that he is abusive, an alienator, and a parent who sabotages his child’s education.  Strangely, you have nothing but negative things to say about (Mother).  While I have not always agreed with GALS and Child Representatives, I have never seen one who is so actively opposed to one parent’s involvement in parenting, despite her having sole custody.

I am told that you are not being paid.  It defies logic that you are still so actively and aggressively involved despite this fact.  Please assure me as an officer of the Court that neither (Father) nor anyone else on his behalf is paying you.  Also, assure me that you are not going to use your offices to contact (Minor Child’s) high school and poison them against (Mother).  I do not see that you have any reason to contact them.  You are not a parent and have no business asserting your will into this family’s issues.

Sincerely,

K.C.

Judge sends 3 kids to Juvy for refusing lunch out with Dad, but no justice for good Moms.

Over and over we read reports all across the country of judges who could care less about children maintaining the bond with their Mothers and primary caretakers, while Judges all over the country will do seemingly just about anything to keep any Dad in a kid’s life, as long as it’s a Dad.  Most recently a judge sentenced three kids to Juvenile Hall for refusing to go to lunch with their violent father.  Yet, Motherlessness is at epidemic proportions in this country.  Divorce Industry insiders have figured out that the money is usually with Dad, regardless of the merits of the case.  Is this really the best we can do???  I think not.  Our children are being harmed.

“The CDC’s groundbreaking epidemiological study discovered a link between childhood adversity and the adult onset of chronic disease , mental illness, violence and becoming a victim of violence. The 10 adverse childhood experiences measured in the Florida research and the CDC’s ACE Study were: emotional, physical, and sexual abuse; emotional and physical neglect; and five types of family dysfunction: witnessing a mother being abused, household substance abuse, household mental illness, losing a parent to separation or divorce, and having an incarcerated household member.”

http://mothersoflostchildren.org/cdcs-ace-studybraintraumaviolence-in-childhood/family-violence-and-parental-seperation/