An Authentic Life

AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced

“You may learn to manipulate people to act the way you are requesting from them, and they will learn to manipulate you back to act the way they require from you, but when and if that happens and you realize it, it becomes very sad.  Please do not go that route.  A life of manipulation is a life of bondage, intrigues, lies and loneliness.  Do not play that game.  At the end the only one who loses is you.”  – Erika Ferenczi

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ Carl Jung

 “As children, we are sponges. We take on the beliefs and values of those we look up to, depend on, love or, sadly, even fear. Some of these beliefs may be serving us well; others are doing the exact opposite.  Taking the time to reflect on what is important to…

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What’s a Mother Worth? by Lisa Nadig

Happy Mother’s Day!

AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced

As Mother’s Day weekend commences, many are excitedly gearing up for the holiday; cards, flowers and gifts being bought, precious gifts made at school secreted away, brunch reservations made, all is being made ready for the special day. Some of us are celebrating, while others of us are grieving. Those of us left to celebrate Mother’s Day in quiet solitude have time on our hands to reflect, and to ask probing questions.

For some, a Mother is priceless, more precious than the finest gold, emeralds or rubies, and the mere thought of assigning a dollar value to her is not only abhorrent, it is aburd. I would agree; it IS absurd that we even have to go there in the first place.

But we do. In a world where Mothers have become increasinginly expendable, disposable, where Mothering work is seen as “less than”, those of us who are, or who…

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When The Narcissist Can No Longer Control You, Kim Saeed

What happens when the Narcissist realizes they can no longer control you?

If The Smear Campaign Was Actually True…Lisa Nadig

This is basic common sense: if the smear campaign was actually true…

1. My ex never would have asked that I have Residential Custody (80/20) in his first two divorce petitions.
2. I would not be a licensed educator in the state of Illinois – I would have lost my license. Of course I did not.
3. There would have been DCFS findings against me. Of course there were none. However, there WERE DCFS findings against my ex for instigating false and harassing investigations. This was discussed at length in Dr. Finn’s 604 Custody Evaluation.
4. I would have been arrested. Of course I was not.
5. My ex wouldn’t have had to file eight custody petitions to finally manufacture a fraudulent custody switch.
6. There would have been criminal proceedings against me. Of course there were none.
7. There would have been no eye-witness to the corruption of the Child Representative – Fraud On The Court: https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2016/03/30/natalie-koga-confronted-with-eye-witness-to-her-corruption/
8. There would not have been findings of “Pathological Parental Alienation” against my ex in the court ordered custody evaluation.
9. The judge, child rep and one of my ex’s lawyers would not have abruptly resigned after being exposed. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/lawyers-judges-retire-to-make-misconduct-investigations-disappear/
10. The corrupt Child Rep Natalie Koga would not have had to resort to lying and manipulating to obtain an order for mental health providers with sanctions on their licenses near the end of the case, to help her manufacture a change of custody – Fraud On The Court. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2016/03/30/dr-jonathan-gamze-misconduct-3/ https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2017/02/25/dr-daniel-fishers-misconduct-with-michael-volpe/
11. There would have been an actual Evidentiary Hearing in Family Court. No such hearing ever occurred – Fraud On The Court.
12. There would have been actual evidence against me in the Family Court case. Of course there was none. There was, however, significant evidence against my ex, which the Child Rep hid from the court – Fraud On The Court. https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2019/09/12/a-summary-of-my-case-corruption-legal-financial-abuse-maternal-deprivation-elder-abuse-cyber-stalking-threats/
13. I would not have received the all clear on my mental health evaluation, while it blamed any trauma on the protracted financial/legal abuse. – Fraud On The Court . https://songsunsilenced.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/nadig-051915-ltrsfromcounselingcenter.pdf

The Narcissistic Parent’s Psychological Warfare: Parentifying, Idealizing and Scapegoating, Julie L. Hall

“Lacking a moral compass or the ability to act selflessly, narcissist parents create devastating havoc and damage in the lives of their kids. Unlike emotionally mature parents whose priority is to meet their children’s needs, support their healthy development, and respect and nurture their individual identities, narcissist parents put their own needs first and do not recognize their children as separate individuals.“

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-narcissist-parents-psychological-warfare-parentifying_b_59124c7de4b0e070cad709df

Narcissists Get Away With It Because They Are Enabled/Six Things The Enablers of Narcissists Say To You, Dr. Ramani

Dr. Ramani Durvasula is on a mission to demystify and dismantle the toxic influence of narcissism on all of our lives. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012, and a visiting professor at the University of Johannesburg. She was also the national recipient of the American Association of University Women Emerging Scholar Award.

“The reason Narcissits hold so much power in your family, your workplace, and society is because they are enabled. In workplaces nobody wants to kill the “golden goose”, society confuses arrogance and narcissism with confidence, families are scared of the narcissists’s rage, and social media rewards the outrageous, shameless behavior that narcissists are the masters at. The challenge is that once you’ve been woke to this pattern of narcissism, you see it and you can’t unsee it, and not just in the narcissist that has lead you on this journey of becoming more knowledgeable, but also in many people around you. You start to see that you have been playing on a toxic playing field for a long time. But if you know some of the kinds of statements and things that the enablers say, it lets you know that you are in fact potentially dealing with enablers and perhaps you can then stop questioning yourself, set better boundaries and hold onto your own reality.”

How To Un-Gaslight Kids, Dr. Ramani

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Clinical Psychologist, Best-Selling Author, Professor of Psychology, Distinguished International Speaker, & Workplace Consultant. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is on a mission to demystify and dismantle the toxic influence of narcissism on all of our lives. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012, and a visiting professor at the University of Johannesburg. She was also the national recipient of the American Association of University Women Emerging Scholar Award. http://doctor-ramani.com

#NatalieKogaExposeTheCorruption, Natalie Koga Caught Red-handed Erasing Mom For Profit in Chicago

https://songsunsilenced.wordpress.com/2016/03/30/natalie-koga-confronted-with-eye-witness-to-her-corruption/

DUH!!! The Constitution Does NOT Grant Immunity For Lying To Remove a Child!!! 9th Circuit’s Epic Dis of Court/Gov’t Officials & Social Workers Dubious Claim Of “Right To Lie”.

Definitely an important finding of law, and worth re-posting!

AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced

California’s “Right To Lie” Case, PreslieHardwick v. Orange County, Marcia Vreeken, Elaine Wilkins, The Estate of Helen Dwojack

But we didn’t know you couldn’t lie to the court. DUH!!!Liar, liar pants on fire!!! That line didn’t work on your Mother and it won’t work in Court!

Judge Stephen Trott, 9th Circuit’s Court of Appeals: “How in the world could a person in the shoes of your clients possibly believe that it was appropriate to use perjury and false evidence” to remove a child from a parent, askedJudge Stephen Trott, a longtime member of the court appointed by Ronald Reagan in 1987. “How could they possibly not be in notice that you can’t do that?”

The panel did in fact reject the argument, and Trott wrote the opinion, which was released this week. Buried on page 13 is a line that artfully relays his incredulity…

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What Causes Narcissism? Research Is Mixed But Studies Point To Parental Overvaluation, Shahida Arabi

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Written by Shahida Arabi, MA

When the term narcissism is used in popular culture, there is usually a definitive statement declaring that all narcissists must have a background of childhood trauma and abuse. However, according to research that’s not always the case – at least, not in the way people definitively describe it.

There have actually been mixed empirical “results” on the causes of narcissism from studies that have investigated it, with some studies showing contradictory results regarding which parenting styles result in grandiose or vulnerable narcissistic traits. The results so far suggest that narcissists may come from a variety of backgrounds – whether that includes overvaluation, lenient parenting, some form of neglect or maltreatment, or a combination of factors.”

https://selfcarehaven.substack.com/p/the-causes-and-origins-of-narcissism?s=r