Category Archives: Uncategorized

From Ken Ditkowsky–Articles which must be remembered–Dr. Borasi’s cash for patients scheme & NY rejects assisted a right to assisted suicide

With respect to the NY lawsuit by 3 terminally ill patients who claimed a constitutional right to assisted suicide, interestingly enough, two died peacefully during the litigation, but one went into remission and is doing fine now.  The court reminded everyone they had  right to refuse any or all medical treatment and further, they had  right to pain killers to relieve any discomfort.  (I bet they did not mention medical marijuana).  But they have not addressed a more serious question and that is that hospice, for many elderly, means forced drugging and the withholding of food and water so someone can get at their assets quickly and efficiently.  These cases of murder are seldom investigated.  Currently “condition of the body reports” which are mandatory by licensed funeral directors go no where and are seen by no one, but they should pass the desk of at least one skilled detective trained…

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From Mom & Music Teacher to Legal Abuse Syndrome, Lisa Nadig

How did I come to be one of the “walking wounded”, suffering from a variant of Post-Traumatic Stress known as Legal Abuse Syndrome?  How did I go from the Mom who did everything to not even allowed to send a birthday card?  How did lawyers in Chicago exploit my elderly, ill father living 150 miles away on our four generation family farm?  Every area of my life has been severely impacted by the vicious Legal Abuse and bullying I was subjected to for nearly seven years in the Cook County Family Court system.  The goal?  Steal my only, irreplaceable child along with my share of our four-generation, multi-million dollar Family Farm Trust.  The strategy?  Use Fraud On The Court and an abusive litigation-vortex to obtain a custody switch, in order to convince (read: Exploit) my elderly, ill father that I somehow “deserved it.”  In all, my ex-husband was allowed to file eight petitions for Sole Custody, litigating custody repeatedly for over six years.  I was forced into court so frequently that it became impossible to earn a living.  It is common knowledge Domestic Abusers with access to money frequently use the legal system to leave their victim homeless, penniless and childless as revenge for leaving them – the “Price for Saying No”.  And there is no shortage of ethically-challenged individuals plying their various trades in the courtrooms ready to make a fortune off of the misery of others, their Professional Code of Ethics be damned.  

“No system of care in America creates more devastation than the legal system. All but the wealthy are priced out of taking their cases to a point of closure. You can win your case and then lose by expensive appeals. Anger and disappointment reach a point beyond rage to an implosion that injures the psyche of the strongest of us. Attorneys rank among the highest in substance abuse, depression, suicide and unhappiness with their profession. Litigants who enter with any illness, injury, or weakness are made worse by stress, sometimes terrorized and bullied.”  Dr. Karin Huffer  Legal Abuse Syndrome, Dr. Karin Huffer

I was the Primary Caretaker and a very loving, involved, hands-on, full-time Mom. I was such an excellent Mother, in fact, that my ex-husband refused to help with parenting in order to further his career, and his first divorce petition requested that custody remain with me.

I am an Educator in good standing.  I have never been arrested or convicted of any crime. There is no substance abuse, mental illness or any wrong-doing on my part.  There are no findings against me by Child Protective Services, nor was any report made.  To the contrary; there are DCFS findings against my ex-husband.  There was no Evidentiary Hearing – no evidence was submitted at all, when a hastily scrawled No Contact of Any Kind Order was obtained in a hastily convened “Emergency” hearing, that did not allow me to respond, get an attorney, present evidence, request Discovery or even speak.  The means? Fraud On The Court, and hearsay brought by an outside attorney with no standing to appear in the case.  He claimed to have “evidence”, which he “demonstrated” in a sleazy, theatrical, over-the-top Pantomime, but never actually presented.  Within fifteen minutes, I went from Mother, Primary Caretaker and Sole Custodian, to losing most of my parental rights, not even allowed to send my child a Christmas or Birthday Card.  This “proceeding” consisted of me standing alone, while my ex-husband and three lawyers and judge shouted a bizarre, incoherent stream of insane insults and hearsay.  That was it.  No evidence proffered.  At all.  Months later I finally had the opportunity to view this “evidence”; it was a single murky cell-phone photo that had clearly been doctored with a cell-phone editor.  Indeed, convicted felons have more parental rights than I did.

I believed in our American justice system.  I thought Judges were prudent, emotionally-balanced, scholarly people who meticulously weighed evidence and law.  But I learned that gamemanship is what passes for legal expertise. Perjury and False Reporting, back-room deals, cronyism and corruption were expected – just “the way things work”.  Verbal and emotional abuse, and at times, physical intimidation, by the attorneys became common-place.  The more tawdry or sleazy the lies, the better, and more entertaining it seemed to be for Judge Levinson, the Child Rep Natalie Koga, and all six of my ex-husband’s attorneys, and of course, never questioned.  

 It was shoddy, disturbing theater of the absurd and macabre. False reporting by court vendors – shrinks in disrepute with some serious ethics issues, brought late into the case by the Child Rep, when I no longer had funds for an attorney, became the strategy to wipe out highly respected Dr. David Finn’s two custody evaluations containing serious findings of Pathological Parental Alienation, Domestic Violence and family exploitation against my ex-husband.  Both of these new court vendors had been sanctioned by the State of Illinois;  the Psychologist, Dr. Daniel Fisher of Elmhurst for similar “Multiple-Role Misconduct”, while the Psychiatrist, Dr. Jonathan Gamze had his controlled substance license revoked and placed on indefinite Probation.  

When I could no longer afford an attorney, I stood alone and mute, not allowed to present evidence, while Child Rep Natalie Koga and opposing counsel Meg Jackson stood together, insulting me, repeatedly lying to the court, all the while laughing.   Apparently they thought depriving a child of his Mother was pretty funny.  Judge Alfred Levinson allowed, enabled and encouraged this horrific, abusive behavior, at times appearing to get off on it too.  

I was placed under multiple Orders that they knew would be impossible to comply with.  Many were illegal.  The obvious goal was to find me in Contempt of Court.  As part of their ongoing strategy to break me, they tried (unsuccessfully) to jail me on four occasions.   It was a modern-day Kafka novel – double-bind after double-bind, nothing made sense, with intertwined lawyers and mental health vendors willing to say or do just about anything as long as the checks cleared, their respective professional code of ethics be damned.  All the while salivating over my childhood home in northwest Illinois.

The most telling barometer of the tone, tenor and intent of this entire divorce and child custody case can be summarized by the e-mail my ex’s attorney Meg Jackson sent me less than one day after my elderly, ill father passed away in my rural hometown in northwest Illinois – 150 miles away from that Rolling Meadows Courthouse.  This was her attempt to bully me into not attending my own father’s funeral.   This is the same woman who yelled that I was a “brazen woman” for daring to ask the court that we be allowed to have family therapy with someone who actually took insurance, as I could not afford $2,000 monthly on medical expenses, and who stood outside the courtroom proclaiming “We’re going to take her down.  We’re going to take everything from her.”  And yet, Dr. Finn’s custody evaluation had recommended that my ex-husband be stopped from using our child to repeatedly insert himself into my family.

And, then, of course, there is the eye-witness account of the Child Rep Natalie Koga colluding with Meg Jackson to alter an evaluation – to get rid of “the problem” (me, a loving Mother).  This vicious legal bullying, where the destruction of innocent people is seen as entertaining, the truth is meaningless, and nothing you do, no matter how hard you try, has anything to do with anything, is deeply traumatic and should never be allowed to happen to anyone.  Ever.  And then I understood why Chris Mackney, and so many others have taken their lives after being bullied to death in family court.  But I hung on, not for myself, but for the sake of my beloved child.  I will continue to be a voice calling for reform, accountability for Guardian ad Litems, Child Representatives, for Judges, and all court vendors.  I will continue to speak out about the devastation wrought on countless people in courtrooms every day.  I will continue to speak about the harm done to our precious children through the abuse of Maternal Deprivation.

Case citation rules for Pro Se litigants–Cornell Rules of Citation Indigo Book

I had a question today about proper legal citations and where to find the rules for that.

Cornell University has published an online guide for this which can be found at:

Introduction to Basic Legal Citation(online ed. 2016)By Peter W. Martin

This work first appeared in 1993. It was most recently revised in the summer of 2016 to reflect the release of a new, free citation guide, The Indigo Book, and the publication of The Supreme Court’s Style Guide. Like all prior revisions this one also included a thorough review of the relevant rules of appellate practice of federal and state courts, and the latest edition of The Bluebook, released in 2015. It is linked to the new Indigo Book. As has been true of all editions released since 2010, it is also indexed to the The Bluebook and the ALWD Guide to…

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The Chaos Theory of Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed writes that within each cycle of abuse there is a moment where a change can be made, an opportunity, if you will to change the negative script that keeps repeating.  Perhaps every time an abusive incident happens we think (or hope) it will be the last and we will be saved from having to make a “hard decision”.  But according to this article, this is actually a chance, an opportunity to start a new pattern in life for our future.   What do you think?  .

IFrom:  The Chaos Theory of Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

Emotional blackmail: suicide threats in abusive relationships

Avalanche of the soul

Self-harm and suicide threats are amongst the most terrifying – and effective – manipulation tactics in an abuser’s toolkit. Here’s what happened when I called the bluff of an abusive blackmailer.

An extreme form of emotional blackmail is an abuser’s threat to kill themselves if we don’t do what they want. This is a low-blow, but often an effective move because it taps directly into our compassion for another human being, and our fear of being the cause of them ending their life.

Kim Saeed posted a very informative article on suicide threats as a manipulation tool. This post made made me think of all the times that my abusive ex did exactly this. I want to tell you about one of those incidents – and what happened when I called his bluff.

“Come back. I’ll kill myself if you don’t.”

We were in the middle of one of…

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Mary Catherine Ford is still looking for her Daughter, Lilly Tonkinson

If anyone knows where she is, please hand her a phone and ask her to call her mother please.

As you all know, Lilly is in an abusive guardianship and was removed from her home under false premises (promised more education and a safe place to live) instead, she has been isolated from her family and has been put in a string of abusive nursing homes where she has been beaten and sexually assaulted and not provided with medical or dental care.

Her mother worries constantly about her and she is heartsick.

Please help Mary and Lily, if you can.



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The One Who Will Be Abused After You

“Your abuser will find another person who shines brightly. Your abuser will wow his New Light with loving actions, sweet words; your abuser will seem to the New Light like a gift from heaven. The New Light will probably be a lot like you…..The New Light is no better than you. Sure, you may feel defeated right now, but your light is on the mend. You are coming back into who you are and always were. But your abuser’s New Light is on the way to darkness.”

The One Who Will Be Abused After You