Tag Archives: Mother’s Day

Open Letter to Vengeful Fathers Depriving Children of their Mothers

#exposethecorruption

To the fathers out there depriving your children of their own Mothers – SHAME ON YOU!  You have the audacity and hearts black enough to harm your own children – just to hurt their Mothers for daring to say “No” to you.  Poor things, she left you.  So what.  Grow up!

There is nothing unique or original about your tactics and behaviors, as reported to me by countless women, and children, over the course of many years – from Chicago, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Arizona, California, Iowa, Nebraska, Indiana, Wyoming, Texas, Wisconsin, Florida, Georgia, Canada, France, The UK, The Netherlands, Australia, and the list goes on.

Their reports are substantiated by the mental health research.  You are all quite predictable.  It doesn’t take any special talent to charge into a bottom feeder lawyer’s office, plunk down some cash, and rehearse your lies together. Child Rep Natalie Koga Confronted w/ Eye-Witness To Corruption #nataliekoga  #exposethecorruption

You beat your chests while your children cry themselves to sleep at night.  You brag about “winning” for all to hear, while your children pretend to like you and what you’ve done – “or else”.  Yet you continue deluding yourself that you’re special.

You Gaslight, lie, and slander your child’s mother to anyone who will listen to you.  Your favorite – that she’s “crazy” – maybe she was just a little bit, for putting up with you as long as she did. 

And every time your kids hear you slander her, they’re forced to back you up, and they die a little bit more inside.  You’re not fathers.  You’re thugs.

If your own Mothers (and Fathers) knew who and what you really are, underneath your manufactured facade, how ashamed they would be.  And heart broken.

heartYour carefully crafted persona of the charming, kind, polite, generous man is nothing but a hollow sham.  In private, your masks slip, revealing your true cruel, sadistic self.  The pleasure you take in hurting others weaker than you shows on your face, reflecting the true evil of your hearts.   Your charm is a well-rehearsed act to get what you want.  You are nothing but frauds.  

There is nothing special, or note-worthy about you, other than the fact you were willing to bully someone smaller than you – your own child – to punish someone else.  All because you couldn’t bully your child’s mother directly anymore. 

You can’t feel like men unless you have someone weaker than you to bully.  How pathetic.  Any dim-witted dolt can bully women and children.

twilight-zone-its-a-good-lifeAnd you are willing to lie about anything – there is no limit to your depravity.

The set of lies you tell are universally reported, especially that she’s crazy, and cheated on you.

I’ve yet to hear from a single survivor whose abusive ex did NOT say she’s crazy.

You play the heart-broken victim, claiming she cheated on you.  But we’ve all noticed that you accuse others of the very things you are guilty of to try to throw them off your scent.

Many of you tell the children she wanted to abort them, didn’t want them.  What kind of sadteddybeara person does that to a child?

You all lie about your child’s mother’s parenting.  For years, you sat back doing the bare minimum.  But suddenly in divorce, you reinvent history.

Your lies fly out of your mouth so effortlessly, clearly you’ve been doing it all your life, and it comes naturally to you.  Next to bullying, lying is your greatest skill, and accomplishment in life.

MotherlessBoyMany of you also encourage your children to abuse their mothers.  You take sick pleasure in teaching them to do your dirty work in your place.  You think nothing of corrupting your children’s morality, while raising the next generation of abusers.  And victims.

And most of you impersonate  your children electronically,  to psychologically torture their mothers.  There must be a play-book somewhere.

You waste your talents.  When you could use them for the good of society, you squander them instead, on your plotting,  maneuvering, and manipulating.  Your favorite people are those with hearts like yours, or simple, naive people you can easily manipulate.  And use.  Or just pay off.  You are drains on society.

WeepingGirlAnd that your insides are so hollow you can’t feel good about yourself without hating anyone who dares contradict you. That your ego is so fragile, your identity so flacid, so soft, that when she said “No”, you threw your child’s Mother under the bus, backing up several times, you know, just to be sure.

And that you aren’t honorable men.  You’re posers.

And that your children don’t really love or respect you.  They only fear you and pity you.

MotherChildNeuroBondYou couldn’t be bothered with parenting before the divorce.  But suddenly you have to have the kids!  You can’t even pick on somebody your own size – using a mere child to harm the very woman who gave them life, and birthed them in a bed of pain.  The one who ran herself ragged doing all that solo parenting because you were just too important for such drudge work.  It is fascinating, the yarns you all spin about your non existent parenting work.  You care nothing about the grave harm to your own children. 

Real fathers, who truly love their kids, don’t use them as props come divorce time.

 

You are failures as men and human beings.  You are a level of evil no decent human being could ever understand.

Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child, Sung by the Great Mahalia Jackson

Let My People Go, Sung by Gospel Feel, feat. Samantha Lavitan

Happy Vengeful Father Syndrome Day! “To all the special childless Mothers out there-you matter!!!  Happy Mother’s Day!

Mothers and Children Forever Joined At The Cellular Level vs. Tactics To Defy Nature, by Lisa Nadig  “Within weeks of conception, cells from both mother and fetus traffic back and forth across the placenta, resulting in one becoming a part of the other.”

What’s a Mother Worth? by Lisa Nadig “In 1979, a young attorney named Michael H. Minton successfully argued that a housewife was worth more than $40,000 a year. The public snorted and the press made fun, but the ramifications proved enormous. When the dust finally settled, the 33-year-old Chicago lawyer had catapulted matrimonial law into an entirely new arena.”  But here we are 40 years later, and how far have we really come?”DV by Proxy

Happy Vengeful Father Syndrome Day!

FlowerBouquetHappy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there screwed over by our woman-hating, abuser-loving, greedy, corrupt family courts.  Mothers are amazing! It takes a really remarkable woman to survive it all.  You are loved!♥♥♥You are appreciated!♥♥♥You matter!!!♥♥♥

Mother’s are givers of life, they are kind, they are strong, they nurture.  They teach us what the words family, love, honor, and sacrifice mean. They laugh, they cry just like you and I.  They create home. They guide, they mentor.  They are nutritionists, and meal planners. They nurse, they heal, they sit with you. They are advocates, brow wipers, huggers, hand-holders, and protectors.  They have style, they have grace. They create the human race.

They work hard, they put in long hours, they are industrious.  They sew, they mend and tend.  They garden, they shop.  They are home economizers, bill payers, cooks, and chauffeurs.  They are interior decorators,  activity coordinators, and innovators.  They tend to the animals, and all creatures under their roof.  They are witty, bright, and generous of purse, time, talents, and skills.

FB_IMG_1567190447684They forgive generously, repeatedly.  They are resourceful researchers, and education interfacers.  They are capable, and fun-loving.  They are birthday cake bakers and party makers. They plan, they coordinate, they budget, they tidy it all up. They are creative, they scurry, improvising on the spot.

Moms sparkle, they beautify!   They are teachers, they are psychologists, and mediators.  They discipline, they worry, they love unconditionally.  They support, they cheer you on no matter what.  They are determined.  They have grit, they are tough.

They are loyal, they are fierce.  They are temperature takers, medicine givers, appointment makers, and frequently sleep deprived.  They are devoted, they are steadfast.

They are career sacrificers.  They are the make do with what you havers – the thrift shop dress buyers, moving sale furniture shoppers, coupon clippers, and do-withouters.  They are the the vacations,  insurance and 401k go-withouters.

Handful of starsMothers create the beauty and magic of holidays!  They are keepers of traditions.  They are gift buyers and wrappers.  They clean, decorate and prepare.  They hostess, entertain, then they pack it all up again.  They are memory makers, and photo takers.  They remember anniversaries, birthdays, and special occasions.  They are the card and gift senders.

They make you smile, they go ten extra miles!  They are loving, they are knowing and wise.  They are special, they are quirky, they are human. They are serious, they are funny, they don’t work for mere money.

1375635_10202963215273676_1558938398_nMothers are forever connected to their children at the most basic, fundamental,  core physical, cellular, mitochondrial, neurological, spiritual and emotional levels. They are all of this and so much more…they are your only, irreplaceable Mother!

♥♥♥So, to all the special, childless Moms out there – in case nobody’s told you lately – You are an amazing, terrific, remarkable, lovely, intelligent, strong, talented, resilient, breathtakingly beautiful woman!  All your work matters!  YOU MATTER!!!

♥♥♥HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!♥♥♥

 

What’s a Mother Worth? by Lisa Nadig

FB_IMG_1567190447684As Mother’s Day weekend commences, many are excitedly gearing up for the holiday; cards, flowers and gifts being bought, precious gifts made at school secreted away, brunch reservations made, all is being made ready for the special day.  Some of us are celebrating, while others of us are grieving.  Those of us left to celebrate Mother’s Day in quiet solitude have time on our hands to reflect, and to ask probing questions.

For some, a Mother is priceless, more precious than the finest gold, emeralds or rubies, and the mere thought of assigning a dollar value to her is not only abhorrent, it is aburd.  I would agree; it IS absurd that we even have to go there in the first place.

But we do.  In a world where Mothers have become increasinginly expendable, disposable, where Mothering work is seen as “less than”, those of us who are, or who have been, on the Mommy-track have faced a rude awakening, and forced to ask ourselves this very question.

11831720_10205666797322884_149653450646472404_n“In 1979, a young attorney named Michael H. Minton successfully argued that a housewife was worth more than $40,000 a year. The public snorted and the press made fun, but the ramifications proved enormous. When the dust finally settled, the 33-year-old Chicago lawyer had catapulted matrimonial law into an entirely new arena.”  What’s a Wife Worth? Michael Minton

But here we are in 2019 – 40 years later – and how far have we REALLY come?  When the sheer enormity of the work of Mothering, and the importance of it, is still strategically devalued by some men, along with “father’s rights” attorneys and activists, who view divorce as a game of chess to be won at all costs?  When society has bought into the false notion that a woman really can, and should have it all-all the time?  When “men’s rights” and “father’s rights” become feel-good euphamisms for “screw the bitch” in divorce? Realizing, recognizing and documenting, not only the importance, but also the monetary value of Mothering work becomes even more fundamental and important.

Investing in the career of Motherhood is in direct conflict withTorn heart our materialistic, superficial, money driven society.   How many of us have heard a stay-at-home Mom say “I’m just a Mom”.  Somehow, we’ve been sold this notion that being a Mom is not for “smart women, educated or high-value women.”

What Wife and Mother, giving her all for years, suddenly confronts this sad reality when facing terroristic, scorched earth, winner takes all divorce tactics, as well as the Federal Fatherhood Funding driving child custody decisions, hasn’t had a cold slap to the face, and the gut-wrenching realization that their work apparently had no value all along, unbeknownst to them.  But Mothers are crying out:  “No! There is indeed great economic value to the work I do!”  Government’s Intentional Devaluation of Motherhood

Being a Surrogate Mother (becoming impregnated with someone else’s baby, going to doctor’s appointments, time off from work, giving birth, sometimes having a C-Section, medical after-care, then releasing the infant to the paying parents)  has a going rate!  Yes, there are wage calculations for the work of creating a human!

As someone who experienced “Morning Sickness”, or rather hyperemesis gravidarum (extreme, persistent nausea and vomiting during pregnancy) so severe that I had to be hospitalized 20130917-105004.jpgand put on IV fluids, along with several other complications, the thought of assigning a dollar value to this physical sacrificing is shocking at best.  But, here is a handy chart from one agency, West Coast Surrogacy.  A summary of costs:  Base Pay (Surrogacy and expenses) First-time $50,000; Experienced $60,000; Twins:  ad $5,000; Triplets add $10,000; C-Section, add $3,000; compensation for lost wages-actual cost; additional medical problems-$10,000.  Surrogate Mother Costs

Many of us have realized along our own divorce journey, that while Attorney Minton educated us all on the economic impact of a wife and mother’s work, that somehow we didn’t really get the message.  We thought it was “progress” to pressure women to have it all, all the time, and it is “for their own good” that they now work full-time outside of the home and full-time when they come home, and if a husband “helps out” in his spare time, then it’s oh so wonderful that he “helps”.  Statistics showing the distribution amongst the sexes of hours spent on home and parenting labor hasn’t really changed!

blind_justice_thumb_400x453Many of us have also been confronted with the disturbing reality that women who can afford an attorney such as Michael Milton will come out of their divorce at least somewhat protected, without becoming impoverished, raked through the system, and children stolen.  Sadly, we learned the old adage still holds true: you get the justice you can afford.

Especially for those doing, or having done, this immense Mothering work, we know the dedication, the exhaustion, the emotional and physical investment in a job that has no vacation days, no “off-duty” time, and that a Mother’s career typically takes a big hit.  We have learned that we can spout all the feel-good rhetoric about shared or co-parenting we want, but the practical, day to day reality for most marriages, even today, is that Mothers still do the vast majority of parenting and housework.

But as is usually the case, if Mom has been the one expected to always take a day off for a sick child, has been the backbone of the house, while father focuses on building his career, and suddenly father and his divorce attorneys demand shared parenting,  and in too many instances, erase Mom altogether, any thinking, rational person would question whether those motives arose from a sudden, personal epiphany on the importance of assuming a fair-share of parenting work (of course, after they built their career while their wife took up the slack), or is it something more calculated and self-serving.

But even with all of this ugliness, the dismissive attitude towards Mothers, and the fact that when a father fights for sole custody he wins 70% of the time, even in cases of well documented abuse, I still believe in Motherhood.  I still believe in the great importance and the immense value of this career.  If I were confronted with the same choice again, it wouldn’t change.  I would still choose this exasperating, exhausting, undervalued, demanding, joyful, life-changing, unpaid career.  I would still choose Motherhood.

FlowerBouquetSo, on this Mother’s Day, to the Mothers out there falling asleep with your newborn on your chest with the deepest joy, I acknowledge you.  To the Mother watching her child walk for the first time, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there with the flu while caring for the family, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there who think they’ll never get it right, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there working inside and outside the home, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there caring for children and aging parents at the same time, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there choosing to work inside the home, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there who have lost their children to death, I acknowledge you.  To the Mothers out there who have lost their children to Domestic Violence by Proxy and Court Corruption, I acknowledge you.  To all Mothers out there, I acknowledge you.

Handful of starsTo the children out there celebrating with your Mother this Mother’s Day, I acknowledge you.  To the children who have lost their Mothers to death, I acknowledge you.  To the children living long distances from their Mothers, I acknowledge you.  To the children out there separated from Mom at the border, I acknowledge you.  To the children out there missing a Mom erased by family court, I acknowedge you.  To the children out there wishing their Mother could have been better, I acknowledge you.  To the children out there just beginning to appreciate your own Mother after having children of your own, I acknowledge you.  To the children out there making their joyful school gift, I acknowledge you.  To all children out there, I acknowledge you.

Happy Mother’s Day to us all!