Category Archives: Narcicisstic Abuse

An Authentic Life

10450164_10152546729544630_5902281272797765777_n“You may learn to manipulate people to act the way you are requesting from them, and they will learn to manipulate you back to act the way they require from you, but when and if that happens and you realize it, it becomes very sad.  Please do not go that route.  A life of manipulation is a life of bondage, intrigues, lies and loneliness.  Do not play that game.  At the end the only one who loses is you.”  – Erika Ferenczi

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ Carl Jung

1375635_10202963215273676_1558938398_n “As children, we are sponges. We take on the beliefs and values of those we look up to, depend on, love or, sadly, even fear. Some of these beliefs may be serving us well; others are doing the exact opposite.  Taking the time to reflect on what is important to us, what resonates, what is truly our belief is a step we must all take. Without doing this, we are carrying around baggage that is not our own: baggage that keeps us from finding our authentic self. By exposing ourselves to new ideas and different ways of being, we can discover what resonates within us.”  – Diane Mottle, MSW

“Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good.” – Alan Cohen

“If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both.” – Horace Mann

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.”  – Mark Twain

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How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

“Understanding how to overcome fear is a crucial part of narcissistic abuse recovery.  As you wander out into the world free from the narcissist’s chains, you might feel, well, off.  You probably find yourself second-guessing every decision you make. Maybe you’ve noticed your behavior is more impulsive than you remember.  This is normal.”  How To Overcome Fear After Psychological Narcissistic Abuse

What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is dangerous to your mental health.  It is sneaky, insidious, manipulative, and ultimately very destructive.  These all-encompassing strategies to control someone’s realities, their personality, daily interactions may not seem to be like “real abuse”, but it is definitely very harmful.   The goal is to completely overpower you until you no longer remember who you are, until the abuser has complete control over every aspect of your life, and of your very identity.

” Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviors over time more akin to terrorism and stalking [1]. While psychological abuse does not always lead to physical violence, it is nearly always preceded and accompanied by psychological abuse [2]. Coercive control represents the unseen psychological abuses victims experience in the most damaging relationships. The intent of coercive control is subjugation of the victim and complete control by the abuser.” https://coercivecontrolcollective.org/what-is-coercive-control/?fbclid=IwAR0r6RpFYarZpsAb9ruJJJDXjCIG21MCT-Eu1OyEoA98kY_H-F6065pcnOE

Coercive control is a very strategic, ongoing set of behaviors designed to erase the victim’s identity, free will, and critical thinking.  Coercive Control

Outsiders can see bruises.  They can readily identify physical injuries as abuse.  But coercive control is fleeting, and sometimes seemingly insigificant to the outside observer.  Coercive control operates under the radar, while being outwardly charming and agreeable to the rest of the world.  Herein lies the biggest danger.

Coercive control takes some study. It takes time to identify for the outsider.  This is a set of behaviors purposely designed to go undetected.  If you sense someone is unhappy, if they don’t seem free to enjoy life, seem harried, stressed and walking on egghsells for someone else, pay attention!  Coercive, manipulative and controlling behavior can be insidious.  Take the time to know and understand what is going on.     Coercive Control: The Hidden Side of Domestic Abuse

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Cyber-Stalking/Threats

How sad, and pathetic really, that some fathers are so desperate to harm their ex-wife, and keep her separated from her child, that they would go so low as to use the son’s e-mail (with some assistance from a more literate “friend”) to try to get her to hang herself.

I recommend asbestos exposure….Asbestos is a simple carcinogen and not a proverbial weapon of mass destruction or some other kind of death sentence. You need something somehow miraculously unregulated and/or easily available and effective. If you want I could set up a fundraiser to provide funding for carcinogen exposure.”

“I think radiation is cool because it’s practically infinite when you get it started and cost efficient! Never mind that it works by itself anyway!”

Please contract a terminal disease at your earliest convenience. I look forward to reading your epitaph, though I won’t be paying for it.”

Sadly, cancer just isn’t humane enough and it isn’t gonna work. I’m sure there are many alternatives for your consideration. One old standby that practically everyone is familiar with is hanging. Almost everyone knows how tie a knot. Rope is easy to find, and much more definite…It should be easy for you to figure this whole suicide thing out.”

“I think drop hanging would be preferable to suspension based hanging due to your prodigious weight, lack of dexterity, and longstanding disinclination towards physical labor. It’s easier!”

It is interesting that Child Rep Natalie Koga has withdrawn her law license and many of these emails were cruel and manipulative attempts to bully me into taking down this blog.

Cyber-stalking Law, Illinois

Radio Interviews

The freedom for all network…Blog Talk Radio, The Captain

Lisa Nadig, Michael Volpe & Doreen Ludwig discuss corruption in her “family” law case in Cook County Chicago

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thecapt/2015/09/24/the-captains-very-special-guest-lisa-nadig

 

 

Abusers and Cyberstalking

From Cyberbullying

“Cyberbullying is defined as the posting of frightening, harassing, humiliating text or images on the internet, cell phones or other digital devices.”

Cyberbullying includes harassment, denigration, impersonation, trickery, and cyberstalking.”

An example of impersonination:  “A fake, horrible e-mail is sent by an impersonator under your child’s name to others.”

Many mothers whose children were taken by an abusive father report that he continued the psychological abuse, by impersonating the child and sending her fake, horrible emails, as part of the ongoing campaign of cyberstalking & cyberbullying. 

*Impersonating someone online is classified as Cyberstalking in Illinois, and a Class 4 Felony.  “Cyberstalking is a Class 4 felony in Illinois. (720 Ill. Comp. Stat. § 5/12-7.5.) A person convicted of a Class 4 felony faces imprisonment of not less than one year and not more than three years, a fine of up to $25,000, or both. (730 Ill. Comp. Stat. § § 5/5-4.5-45, 5/5-4.5-50.)”

From Wikipedia: Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is perpetrated through harassmentcyberstalking, denigration (sending or posting cruel rumors and falsehoods to damage reputation and friendships), impersonation, and exclusion (intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group)

“The US federal cyberstalking law is designed to prosecute people for using electronic means to repeatedly harass or threaten someone online. There are resources dedicated to assisting adult victims deal with cyberbullies legally and effectively. One of the steps recommended is to record everything and contact police.”

RESOURCES:

www.cyberbullying.org
  Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
  NetSmartz411: Internet Safety Help Desk
  Bully OnLine
  www.stopbullynow.com
  www.safeteens.com
  www.childrenonline.org
  www.glsen.org/bullying
  www.adl.org/combatbullying
  www.wiredsafety.org
  www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject
  www.pacer.org/bullying

The Chaos Theory of Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed writes that within each cycle of abuse there is a moment where a change can be made, an opportunity, if you will to change the negative script that keeps repeating.  Perhaps every time an abusive incident happens we think (or hope) it will be the last and we will be saved from having to make a “hard decision”.  But according to this article, this is actually a chance, an opportunity to start a new pattern in life for our future.   What do you think?  .

IFrom:  The Chaos Theory of Narcissistic Abuse, by Kim Saeed