Category Archives: Coercive Control

An Authentic Life

10450164_10152546729544630_5902281272797765777_n“You may learn to manipulate people to act the way you are requesting from them, and they will learn to manipulate you back to act the way they require from you, but when and if that happens and you realize it, it becomes very sad.  Please do not go that route.  A life of manipulation is a life of bondage, intrigues, lies and loneliness.  Do not play that game.  At the end the only one who loses is you.”  – Erika Ferenczi

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” ~ Carl Jung

1375635_10202963215273676_1558938398_n “As children, we are sponges. We take on the beliefs and values of those we look up to, depend on, love or, sadly, even fear. Some of these beliefs may be serving us well; others are doing the exact opposite.  Taking the time to reflect on what is important to us, what resonates, what is truly our belief is a step we must all take. Without doing this, we are carrying around baggage that is not our own: baggage that keeps us from finding our authentic self. By exposing ourselves to new ideas and different ways of being, we can discover what resonates within us.”  – Diane Mottle, MSW

“Everything will line up perfectly when knowing and living the truth becomes more important than looking good.” – Alan Cohen

“If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both.” – Horace Mann

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.”  – Mark Twain

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What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is dangerous to your mental health.  It is sneaky, insidious, manipulative, and ultimately very destructive.  These all-encompassing strategies to control someone’s realities, their personality, daily interactions may not seem to be like “real abuse”, but it is definitely very harmful.   The goal is to completely overpower you until you no longer remember who you are, until the abuser has complete control over every aspect of your life, and of your very identity.

” Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviors over time more akin to terrorism and stalking [1]. While psychological abuse does not always lead to physical violence, it is nearly always preceded and accompanied by psychological abuse [2]. Coercive control represents the unseen psychological abuses victims experience in the most damaging relationships. The intent of coercive control is subjugation of the victim and complete control by the abuser.” https://coercivecontrolcollective.org/what-is-coercive-control/?fbclid=IwAR0r6RpFYarZpsAb9ruJJJDXjCIG21MCT-Eu1OyEoA98kY_H-F6065pcnOE

Coercive control is a very strategic, ongoing set of behaviors designed to erase the victim’s identity, free will, and critical thinking.  Coercive Control

Outsiders can see bruises.  They can readily identify physical injuries as abuse.  But coercive control is fleeting, and sometimes seemingly insigificant to the outside observer.  Coercive control operates under the radar, while being outwardly charming and agreeable to the rest of the world.  Herein lies the biggest danger.

Coercive control takes some study. It takes time to identify for the outsider.  This is a set of behaviors purposely designed to go undetected.  If you sense someone is unhappy, if they don’t seem free to enjoy life, seem harried, stressed and walking on egghsells for someone else, pay attention!  Coercive, manipulative and controlling behavior can be insidious.  Take the time to know and understand what is going on.     Coercive Control: The Hidden Side of Domestic Abuse

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