Open Letter to Vengeful Fathers Depriving Children of their Mothers

To the fathers out there depriving your children of their own Mothers – SHAME ON YOU!  You have the audacity and hearts black enough to harm your own children – just to hurt their Mothers for daring to say “No” to you.  Poor things, she left you.  So what.  Grow up!

There is nothing unique or original about your tactics and behaviors, as reported to me by countless women, and children, over the course of many years – from Chicago, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Arizona, California, Iowa, Nebraska, Indiana, Wyoming, Texas, Wisconsin, Florida, Georgia, Canada, France, The UK, The Netherlands, Australia, Germany, and the list goes on.

Their reports are substantiated by the mental health research.  You are all quite predictable.

WeepingChildYou beat your chests while your children cry themselves to sleep at night.  You brag about “winning” for all to hear, while your children pretend to like you and what you’ve done – “or else”.  Yet you continue deluding yourself that you’re special.

You Gaslight, lie, and slander your child’s mother to anyone who will listen to you.  Your favorite – that she’s “crazy” – maybe she was just a little bit, for putting up with you as long as she did. 

And every time your kids hear you slander her, they’re forced to back you up, and they die a little bit more inside.  You’re not fathers.  You’re thugs.

If your own Mothers (and Fathers) knew who and what you really are, underneath your manufactured facade, how ashamed they would be.  And heart broken.

heartYour carefully crafted persona of the charming, kind, polite, generous man is nothing but a hollow sham.  In private, your masks slip, revealing your true cruel, sadistic self.  The pleasure you take in hurting others weaker than you shows on your face, reflecting the true evil of your hearts.   Your charm is a well-rehearsed act to get what you want.  You are nothing but frauds.  

There is nothing special, or note-worthy about you, other than the fact you were willing to bully someone smaller than you – your own child – to punish someone else.  All because you couldn’t bully your child’s mother directly anymore. 

You can’t feel like men unless you have someone weaker than you to bully.  How pathetic.  Any dim-witted dolt can bully women and children.

twilight-zone-its-a-good-lifeAnd you are willing to lie about anything – there is no limit to your depravity.

The set of lies you tell are universally reported, especially that she’s crazy, and cheated on you.

I’ve yet to hear from a single survivor whose abusive ex did NOT say she’s crazy.

You play the heart-broken victim, claiming she cheated on you.  But we’ve all noticed that you accuse others of the very things you are guilty of to try to throw them off your scent.

Many of you tell the children she wanted to abort them, didn’t want them.  What kind of sadteddybeara person does that to a child?

You all lie about your child’s mother’s parenting.  For years, you sat back doing the bare minimum.  But suddenly in divorce, you reinvent history.

Your lies fly out of your mouth so effortlessly, clearly you’ve been doing it all your life, and it comes naturally to you.  Next to bullying, lying is your greatest skill, and accomplishment in life.

MotherlessBoyMany of you also encourage your children to abuse their mothers.  You take sick pleasure in teaching them to do your dirty work in your place.  You think nothing of corrupting your children’s morality, while raising the next generation of abusers.  And victims.

And most of you impersonate  your children electronically,  to psychologically torture their mothers.  There must be a play-book somewhere.

You waste your talents.  When you could use them for the good of society, you squander them instead, on your plotting,  maneuvering, and manipulating.  Your favorite people are those with hearts like yours, or simple, naive people you can easily manipulate.  And use.  Or just pay off.  You are drains on society.

WeepingGirlAnd that your insides are so hollow you can’t feel good about yourself without hating anyone who dares contradict you. That your ego is so fragile, your identity so flacid, so soft, that when she said “No”, you threw your child’s Mother under the bus, backing up several times, you know, just to be sure.

And that you aren’t honorable men.  You’re posers.

And that your children don’t really love or respect you.  They only fear you and pity you.

MotherChildNeuroBondYou couldn’t be bothered with parenting before the divorce.  But suddenly you have to have the kids!  You can’t even pick on somebody your own size – using a mere child to harm the very woman who gave them life, and birthed them in a bed of pain.  The one who ran herself ragged doing all that solo parenting because you were just too important for such drudge work.  It is fascinating, the yarns you all spin about your non existent parenting work.  You care nothing about the grave harm to your own children. 

Real fathers, who truly love their kids, don’t use them as props come divorce time.


It doesn’t take any special talent to charge into a bottom feeder lawyer’s office, plunk down some cash, and rehearse your lies together.  You are nothing but cowardly bullies.  Child abusers.  Frauds.  Fakes. 

You are failures as men and human beings.  You are a level of evil no decent human being could ever understand.

Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child, Sung by the Great Mahalia Jackson

Let My People Go, Sung by Gospel Feel, feat. Samantha Lavitan

Happy Vengeful Father Syndrome Day! “To all the special childless Mothers out there-you matter!!!  Happy Mother’s Day!

Mothers and Children Forever Joined At The Cellular Level vs. Tactics To Defy Nature, by Lisa Nadig  “Within weeks of conception, cells from both mother and fetus traffic back and forth across the placenta, resulting in one becoming a part of the other.”

What’s a Mother Worth? by Lisa Nadig “In 1979, a young attorney named Michael H. Minton successfully argued that a housewife was worth more than $40,000 a year. The public snorted and the press made fun, but the ramifications proved enormous. When the dust finally settled, the 33-year-old Chicago lawyer had catapulted matrimonial law into an entirely new arena.”  But here we are 40 years later, and how far have we really come?”DV by Proxy

13 thoughts on “Open Letter to Vengeful Fathers Depriving Children of their Mothers

  1. Lizzie B.

    My ex-husband finally managed to kill me when he took my precious son. Before, he would hold me down in bed while I had severe asthma, gasping for breath, begging him to let me breathe, while he screamed disgusting insults right into my face. You could see it in his eyes – he wanted me to die. But now I have. Without my boy, I’m just a walking around dead person pretending to be alive.


  2. Sara

    Abusers cannot allow their victims to escape. They are driven to destroy their lives. What better way to destroy a woman then by taking away her children. They know how to act like loving and caring people, but other people are objects to them. The damage to the children doesn’t even matter in their entitled, disordered thinking. They are not normal, but they can pass for normal because they are very very charming – expert manipulators. They are like Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde. People who know them are completely shocked to hear how they behave in private with their family members they abuse – many are so fooled, they refuse to believe it! “But he’s such a nice guy!” is always the reaction.


  3. Katherine R.

    Our court’s dirty little secret, enabling controlling, entitled men use whatever means are available to keep power and control over their victims. And what better way to punish, stalk and torture their partners for leaving than to use the most precious thing she has against her-the children. Abuser’s ultimate revenge for leaving: Use the courts to leave you penniless, childless & homeless. In their minds, you just have it coming to you for leaving them.


  4. Roxanne Sade

    2 of my children are with there fathers. They were never involved I had to beg them both for a long time! Now I have to beg to see and talk its always been me and my children. I feel lost without them my soul feels its been torn from my chest. While people who even seen me and these children hurt from these father’s decisions not to be around and my kids watching me struggle to get by and make sure they have everything they need, now they all sit back and criticize and shame me. Not a single person stands up for me in court after yrs of raising and loving those kids on my own. Then I marry and that man decides to step up and he too gets criticized and put down!


  5. Kristin Jacobson

    Wow! This is exactly what I’ve gone through. I finally feel like I’m not alone in my anguish and suffering. It’s been over 7 years since I’ve seen (had any contact with) my two oldest boys. Part of my heart has been torn from my chest and my soul aches every single day for all we’ve been deprived.


  6. Amy B

    This is exactly what is happening to thousands and millions of mothers and children. The right to leave a not-so-great relationship should be a possibility. The right to leave a horrible dysfunctional abusive relationship should be absolutely
    Abuse runs rampant and women have no rights!


  7. Lillian Song

    Abusers utilize the legal system to sustain their power over their victims – the mother and the children. The court system support the continuation of abuse to the mothers and children like a sport. Authorities treat such “sport” as a money raking scheme. And the general public treat the “sport” as none of their business.

    But what everyone forgets is the history always reveal itself. It will reveal the perpetrators, enables, no-doers, and victims. Those who abuse will not have the legacy that they believe will be rememberee, but the the horrors of their acts – for generations to come.


  8. Dolores

    This is a hidden tragedy of epic proportions, one that most people aren’t aware of. Children are being deprived of their moms – good moms- in our family courts all the time. It is such a regular, sad occurrence, that those who are attorneys for domestic violence survivors actually tell their clients, talk about the abuse to yourself or your child and you run the strong risk of losing your child. So Mother’s are put in the impossible situation. An impossible choice.

    There is tremendous bias against any mother who discusses abuse or tries to protect her children. The training judges and lawyers receive is full of very damaging falsehoods; that women lie about abuse in divorce. But this is just inaccurate. The research shows the vast majority of women are telling the truth.

    The courts make it a regular practice to aid and abet abusive fathers, creating severe damage for years to come. The myth that mothers always get custody, and if they don’t, there must be something wrong with them is so pervasive, that most people don’t care or know what’s going on. Most people are unaware that when a father fights for sole custody, even a documented highly violent abuser or pedophile, he gets it most of the time.

    This particular type of father’s strategy is to use the children as pawns, and the court becomes the ideal arena for them to continue to abuse, control and punish the mother. This is how they retaliate against these women for leaving them-the “price for saying No to abuse.”

    Our family courts operate without any checks or balances. The Judicial Inquiry Board is made up of judges, and the Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission is made up of attorneys. They rarely hold lawyers and judges accountable for these crimes against children and women, so they know they have free reign, and do whatever they want.

    Our federal government gives billions of dollars in Fatherhood money, which is also driving these custody decisions.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tiffany

      What you say is so true. When you phone the child line service they say you must report child abuse. When you do, you are penalised by losing your child. Their search for evidence is minimal. My son is now with his abuser. The parental alienation has happened and I was witness to the brain washing and abuse. Who knows what my son is suffering. The only person he could confide in was me. And now I am gone. The reason the system allows this is because it’s rotten from the top down. Abusers support abusers. They don’t care I children will be severely damaged. We must be heard.


  9. Vera

    As I and other survivors have said many times, there has to be An Abuser’s Manual somewhere out there, because the details of our stories differ, but the patterns of abuse are always the same. Abusers know exactly what they are doing. They don’t have anger issues, although they are often angry. But it is a controlled anger, designed to achieve a desired result, namely the complete subjugation of their victims. It is insidious. It permeates every interaction, including those between mothers and their children. The children, above all, are the innocent victims. Their normal and healthy desire to love both parents is subverted. They are manipulated into believing that their mother is bad. She is crazy. She did not take care of them when they were little. She is irresponsible. Children don’t know what to believe, but once they end up in the custody of a vengeful father they are bombarded by lies and threats. They begin to agree with their father. And maybe even believe the words. Speaking from experience, let me say to any children who may be reading this, if you are in this situation, please know that your mother grieves for you every day. She loves you. She wants to hug you and talk to you, celebrate holidays with you, fix your favorite foods. Mothers are like that. We love unconditionally. And we wait, hoping every day is the day we can reconnect with our lost children. So please, if you are in this situation or know someone who is, and it is safe to do so, tell your mother that you love her. Take that first step. Your mother is waiting with open arms.

    Liked by 1 person


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