Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) After Narcissistic Abuse

Choose yourself. Choose your own needs, hopes, and dreams.♥

AMother'sHeartSongsUnsilenced

Fear, Obligation, and Guilt (FOG) are the triad of emotional abuse. These three feelings can cause an overwhelming amount of self-doubt, anxiety, and unhappiness. Survivors are taught to believe that nothing they do is good enough, that they are inherently bad, and that standing up for yourself will be met with hostility. FOG tears down healthy boundaries and undermines your self-worth. It also lands you in situations where you’re constantly having to do stuff you don’t want to do, taking on an unfair burden of the emotional issues of others.

The first step toward breaking free of this is to notice what’s happening. When we’re “in the FOG”, we’re incapable of seeing the people-pleasing and avoidant behaviors that comprise it. When you stand up for yourself, you may feel afraid of retaliation or dismissal. You may feel guilty, because some part of you believes the feelings of others are…

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