Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) After Narcissistic Abuse

Fear, Obligation, and Guilt (FOG) are the triad of emotional abuse. These three feelings can cause an overwhelming amount of self-doubt, anxiety, and unhappiness. Survivors are taught to believe that nothing they do is good enough, that they are inherently bad, and that standing up for yourself will be met with hostility. FOG tears down healthy boundaries and undermines your self-worth. It also lands you in situations where you’re constantly having to do stuff you don’t want to do, taking on an unfair burden of the emotional issues of others.

The first step toward breaking free of this is to notice what’s happening. When we’re “in the FOG”, we’re incapable of seeing the people-pleasing and avoidant behaviors that comprise it. When you stand up for yourself, you may feel afraid of retaliation or dismissal. You may feel guilty, because some part of you believes the feelings of others are more important than your own. You may feel obligated to remain in a dynamic that doesn’t suit you, because this person was nice to you at one point.https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog-after-narcissistic-abuse.368/

Working The 5 Phases of Trauma Recovery After Narcissistic Abuse by Kim Saeed:  “

When people think of trauma, they tend to imagine isolated events like natural disasters or car accidents. But trauma can take many forms. Narcissistic abuse is a soul-crushing form of trauma because it slowly builds up like an avalanche. In many cases, it affects your identity on a very deep level for several years. That’s why healing from narcissistic abuse is an ongoing process – not an instantaneous event. Healing from complex trauma and PTSD from narcissistic abuse requires a much different approach than recovering from isolated traumatic events.” https://kimsaeed.com/2018/08/01/working-the-5-phases-of-trauma-recovery-after-narcissistic-abuse/?fbclid=IwAR3f1XWs2HzeyxgiTHLWSnE46Ir4B1BrRvO8n12eG4fNF7wYA0d97yJRi4Q