I recently ran across this post from a well-respected mental health professional and expert in the field of parental alienation, Dr. J. Michael Bone, PhD. As a forensic evaluator, he gives a brief description of some Tier 1 evidence of PA, or Parental Alienation – the “Lie List”. This really resonated with me, as I have just recently posted here an abbreviated version of my ex-husband’s lies that he has used to manipulate our son, some of my family, some of his family, some of our friends, as well as some of the court professionals. Interestingly enough, it was about one year ago that a dear family member encouraged me to begin to compile a catalog of his lies versus the truth. This was due to the fact that more family members were connecting the dots on all of the lies. It was painful, and I avoided it for a long time. What was shocking was how long it took to compile this extensive list, until those of us intimately acquainted with the situation realized it was an entire web of lies, spanning many years, beginning with little “jabs” poking fun, and then responding “Oh, I was just kidding”, mushroomeing over the years, until I was already isolated from some people without even realizing it.
“Another category example of Tier 1 evidence would be what has been referred to as the “Lie List.” As I believe all would agree, parental alienation cases are rife with false abuse allegations against the targeted parent. Such false allegations include a range of severity from, on one end, alleging that a responsible parent is is negligent; to alleging on the other end, that the targeted parent has abused the child. The common denominator to all of this range of allegations is that they are all based on lies, untruths, distortions and manufactured information. I always advise parents to first look in the area of false allegations for examples of lies that rise to the Tier 1, or rock solid level. Such examples of this might be claiming that a parent had abused or molested a child at a certain place and time, when, at a later date, it is revealed that targeted parent could prove that they were elsewhere. The first sub-step in gathering this type of evidence would be to get the alienating parent to commit to the specifics of the exact date and time, and get them anchored to that date and time, making that an integral part of the allegation. This is especially helpful if the alienating parent can get witnesses to join them in the false allegation. When this is the case, it is fairly easy to peel the onion of the truth and reveal the deception. A few examples like these can go a great distance in exposing the alienating parent.
Let me give another example. Imagine that a father is newly separated and has been told by his lawyer to go to the marital residence and to videotape the contents, to make stealing it more difficult. Let us say that the father goes to the house, video camera in hand, and calmly films as directed by his lawyer. On the video, we see the mother (AP in this example) become more and more agitated, to the point that she leaves hysterical with both children, a toddler and an infant. Keep in mind, all of this is videotaped. Fast forward now several years. The mother and minor children have moved to another state and a custody evaluator has been appointed to do an evaluation. This custody evaluator is told by the mother, her version of this incident. It went something like this. “He (father ) came over and was yelling and threatening and was terrifying. I had to run out of the house to a next door neighbors and hide in their closet.” Let us assume that the custody evaluator bought this story hook, line and sinker. Let us further assume that the recommendations produced by the evaluator is that the father has a high potential for abuse and has explosive anger. Now let us further assume that all are in court and the father’s attorney successfully gets the mother to describe in vivid and emotional detail to the court her terrifying (false) account of this incident, since it figured in such a prominent place in the evaluation. Then let us assume that the lawyer was successful in getting her to tie this scary experience to the specific date on the time stamped video. Then let us assume that the attorney then offers the video into evidence and it is played for the court. As the Judge listened to the description provided by the mother and then compared it to what was seen on the video, the mother’s credibility was completely shot and it became then very easy for the court to see that the mother’s vilification of the father was the centerpiece theme of the entire case. This would be a good example of Tier 1 evidence.”