PARENTAL ALIENATION TIP OF THE DAY – SHOULD TARGET PARENTS USE SOCIAL MEDIA?
Do you know a child or young adult who is alienated from one of their parents? If so, are you “friends” with the parent who has a relationship with the alienated child or young adult also known as the favored parent? Does this favored parent say to you “The reason *child’s name* doesn’t talk to *other parent* is because *other parent* posts about them and posts about parental alienation on social media. If the other parent didn’t post anything about them or about parental alienation on social media, then they would talk to the other parent.”
If you know an alienated child and are friends with the favored (alienating) parent, you’ve probably heard this and it might have even sounded reasonable to you. You might have thought “Gee, that sounds easy. Why doesn’t ‘target parent’ just stop posting about the alienated child and parental alienation on social media and then the child will talk to them again?”
If you have listened to and bought into this reasoning, the least you can do for the sake of the heartbroken alienated child you know is read this article.
Here are a few things you need to know….
1. No child has ever started communicating with a target parent again simply because the target parent stopped posting about them or parental alienation on social media. If it was that simple, we all would have done that and been reunified with our children by now.
2 When a target parent stops posting about how much they love and miss their child on social media, the alienating parent actually uses that to strengthen the alienation by saying things like “Your *other parent* has stopped mentioning you completely on social media. See, they don’t really care about you or love you or want a relationship with you. Looks like they’ve given up on you and forgotten all about you.”
One example of this was when a target parent who hadn’t seen 1 of their 3 children for four years posted a photo of the 2 children that they do have a relationship with on facebook. The alienator, who relentlessly stalks the target parent, copied and pasted the post and photo with the two children and sent it to the alienated young adult telling the alienated young adult “Target Parent is posting as if they only have two children. They aren’t mentioning you at all. That is such a mean thing to do to you.” This alienator is constantly pressuring and harassing the target parent to stop posting about the alienated child online yet when the target parent did make a post without referring to the alienated child, the alienator used it for more alienation. This is a perfect (AND REAL) example of how alienators will use EVERY opportunity to alienate. If a target parent posts about an alienated child, an alienator will use that to further alienate. If a target parent doen’t post about an alienated child, the alienator will use that to further alienate. (Obviously, the only reason the target parent didn’t post a photo with the alienated child is that the target parent hasn’t seen the alienated child for four years and therefore doesn’t have any recent photos.)
3. Alienators will often claim that the alienated child has told the target parent to stop posting about them and about parental alienation on social media and that the alienated child has told the target parent “If you stop posting about me and about parental alienation on social media, I’ll talk to you again.” The truth is alienated children very rarely say this to target parents, ALL alienated children have confirmed that they were forced to say it by the alienating parent. In fact, the truth is quite the opposite and many alienated children have secretly contacted the target parents saying things like “I read your posts about how much you love me and miss me. I love you and miss you too. ‘Alienating parent’ is watching to make sure I don’t talk to you. They monitor all of my emails, text messages and phone calls. It’s not safe for me to talk to you yet but I’m trying to break free and find a safe way to talk to you. Please keep posting and know that I love you, miss you and want to talk to you even though I can’t yet.”
4. The REAL reason alienators want target parents to stop posting about parental alienation on social media is because they don’t want to be exposed. Keeping the truth about parental alienation a secret protects the alienator and allows them to easily continue alienating the children. Nothing is worse to an alienator than the truth being exposed.
5. Remember, the most obvious sign of parental alienation is that a child doesn’t have a relationship with one parent WHILE they have a very ENMESHED relationship with the other parent. (This is NOT normal and no child “chooses” this regardless of what a parent might say. Alienating parents and alienating stepparents can be very charming and very convincing. Refer to the article “PARENTAL ALIENATION TIP OF THE DAY”